4 posts tagged “family”

This weekend will be stressful for me, because we have to be careful with our money. We do all our shopping the day after Mike gets paid. We have the usual bills (which are worse at the end of the month due to the due dates) but this time, we also have to save money for two car repairs. One repair, struts and shocks, is not a big deal and is actually the #2 repair, but that will cost us more than the #1 repair, a leaky valve cover gasket and a couple of other smaller things.  We're hoping we can get the valve cover gasket replaced April 9th.  The struts and shocks will be replaced in a couple of months.

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The bigger thing is, this week coming up is the week Brian prepares for his trip to the Arlington, Virginia area for a job interview. I don't want to name the place he's interviewing at, because: 1) I haven't paid a lot of attention to what it's all about, so I don't have a lot of details and 2) If I mentioned the name of the business, there's a chance some Voxers either work there or know about the place, so I don't want to say anything because of the interview.

This coming week may turn out to be more of a big deal than Mike and I think at present. There's a chance that, when we say goodbye to Brian at the airport next Friday, he won't be coming back home. This trip may turn out to be a permanent deal. Brian has a mentor (online friend) at this business who's told him 'bring all your clothes in case this works out'. Brian's already got a place to stay lined up if he gets the job. The place is a couple blocks from work. He can save his wages to buy a car.

What this means in the larger view is, I may be saying goodbye to my baby and then not see him again for years. (There's no way he can find out I called him my baby, so I'm safe.) I am the type for long goodbyes. Brian is not. So, how do I know? How do I know whether I'll see Brian again soon or not?  

I don't.

And that little fact is what's making me crazy. I've been keeping busy around here (busier than usual) so I don't have to think about Brian not coming back. It's in the back of my mind. I know it doesn't make a difference, really, if he and I say goodbye at the airport or if he were getting in a car and driving away.  But avoiding the subject means nothing because if Brian is moving, this will hit me like a brick wall.

It's strange how last year I could talk to my oldest son Steve about his moving to Tempe. It was a given. He sold most of his furniture and was saying goodbye to his friends.  And, I knew in my heart his moving meant I would not see him for years. There were few tears on my part. (Steve didn't move because he fell and broke his right arm near his elbow and the owner of the tattoo shop hired someone else.)  But all of the discussions with Steve last summer didn't make me feel as much anxiety as I'm feeling now.

I have to admit, I'm reluctant to post this over yesterday's post. I would like 'My Christmas Wish' to stay at the top of my blog for a few more days. However, I must move on. I do hope I got people to think and take action. Hopefully, not out of a sense of guilt, but out of a sense of truly wanting to help. If I did make you feel that it's time to step up and help, then I accomplished what I wanted. Or, maybe I should say, I've accomplished what God wanted, as I am led by God to have a heart for those who need help.

As I type this, there are two pumpkin pies baking in the oven. I love the scent of the holidays: the scent of spices, of cookies baking, and turkey and stuffing cooking in the oven. I have to bake today as Mike does all of our holiday cooking and he will take over the kitchen tomorrow. No one is allowed in the kitchen after breakfast is over. He has done all the holiday cooking for years and it's become so automatic, I don't even think about what the dinner will be. Mike plans the dinner and he cooks it. I'm left with the clean-up, which I don't mind. Our dinner was supposed to be small, as there are only the three of us (Steve will go to his girlfriend's parents' home for dinner). But, the list of food grew. It will be a large meal for us, which in a way is bad, as our refrigerator doesn't hold many bowls and plates of leftovers. There will be a little creative moving around of all the containers and milk, etc. But, there will be a few days of leftovers, which means I heat up the food and put it on the table. Since I'm not a fan of cooking and only cook because I have to, three days of turkey and stuffing isn't so bad. 

I'm really looking forward to tonight as it's the first time Mike and I will visit with Steve and his girl at their new apartment. They moved there in the spring but Steve has been so busy we could never get together at his place. He's off today so we're going to visit and probably have pizza for dinner. Brian's been there lots of times and even stayed over one night. It's strange how I live 20 minutes from my son but I don't see him for months.

Friday is Mike's birthday. For years, he's taken the day off work on his birthday. So, he has a long weekend. I told him I have the day planned for him. This is something I've never done before so he's excited. There's not going to be a birthday party, as neither of us like parties. But, I have a nice day planned. Hopefully, they'll be a few photos from Friday for me to post here.

Sundays here are always rather boring. It's funny how, during the week when I want to do something just for myself and can't because I'm busy, by Sunday those things I wanted to do don't seem appealing. 

It's just a slow, grey day here. It's trying to snow, but there's only little flakes in the wind.

I got up this morning with lower back pain and have been grumpy all day.

It's looks like it's impossible for me to adopt Pumpkin. I want to really badly, but the timing isn't good for us. It's close to Christmas and our property taxes are due soon. If I adopted him I'd have to get him to a vet for vaccinations and a neuter surgery within the next month. He's already 4 1/2 months old and has to be neutered no later than 30 days past his sixth month, due to state law. (If I don't show proof of surgery by the deadline, I get a $100 fine/ticket sent by mail.)  That would give us to about the middle of January which is bad for us. From November to about March is a bad time of the year for us, money is really tight. Most of the time we don't celebrate Christmas at all (I don't want any pity. Many people have things much worse than we do.)  We send my dad a box of things (food, mostly) and then give my sons about $50 each and that's it. That's what we've done for about five years now. This year that won't change. Some people we know suspend paying their bills so they can have money to spend on Christmas presents, but we won't do that. Our credit record is already damaged enough.

So, I have to move on and forget about Pumpkin. Adding him to the family wasn't meant to be.

Brian has been working for Ford, as an IT person for about a month now. But, he has the worst luck of anyone I know. He came home last Wednesday afternoon, about two hours early. When he walked through the door, I saw why:  his right arm was in a sling. He fell and hurt his arm while working. He was in extreme pain immediately after, so when he reported the fall, he was sent to the clinic Ford uses. An x-ray showed a fracture of the radius head, which is near the elbow. He also had a badly banged up right knee. Unfortunately, the doctor gave him medication only for swelling, not pain. Brian had a difficult Wednesday night, and looked white as a ghost when I saw him Thursday morning.

Friday afternoon I took him to the clinic where a doctor put a cast on the arm and gave him some pain meds. He wants to see Brian again Tuesday. After we left the clinic (which is in an industrial park) we had to go to a different building in the park so Brian could talk to a lady who is handling the paperwork for Workman's Comp. She said she needed the receipt for the medication and talked to Brian about some other stuff. He got the script from our local Walgreens and then we went home.  Brian has found out further that he has to call into the temp agency Monday to report his status. He was given a work release dated Friday, but with his arm like it is, I don't see how he can work
and lift computer monitors! Anyway, there's a chance he'll have to work Monday.  

Mike thinks Ford won't want Brian as a contract worker anymore because he's got less than 90 days on the job and he's cost the company money. Mike expects me to believe him and side with him, but I'm a mom, you know, and I don't want to say anything against Brian or in agreement with Mike. So, I keep my mouth shut. I don't know why I'm expected to take Mike's side anyway...We'll see what happens. Hopefully, things will work out. It's not in our hands, but in God's hands.

This morning I had to get online and help Mike with selecting new benefits for Comcast. It is all done online and sign up ends tonight at midnight. It was a hassle, but it's finished until next year.

Honestly, sometimes I don't know what Mike and Brian would do without me!

What's the last thing you usually do or think about before you fall asleep?

I think about the day I had and I think about my family. The last thing I do before I fall asleep is pray.